Aldbourne Cricket Club

Contact details

By phone:
01672 540 176

Aldbourne CC - Kim Jong Un to manage ACC

ACC, the little known Wiltshire club, has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager and fixtures secretary after a poor start to the 2013 season.
 
 
Urchfont will pay for its unprovoked aggression
 
If Ash, the cricket tart, had been successful in persuading ACC to join his doomed cricket league then the club would be hovering on the verge of the disintegration zone. The ruthless (and absent) club chairman, Peter ‘5 Stents’ Grant believes it can avoid total annihilation with Un’s blend of focus, determination and implacable hatred which, as part of his contract has been transferred from America to Woodland St. Mary.
Keeper Martin ‘Gloves’ Bennett said: “He’s got us working on reducing our wides and no balls which will impact the number of byes I have been forced to concede as well as building a 75 foot bronze statue of him beating up a dragon.
“The boss will bring a new discipline to the club. Sorry I meant to say ‘The Glorious Dawning Sun’. One of the youth players called him boss this morning and now his family have disappeared.” 
Un’s short and long-term goals for the team are avoiding annihilation and crushing the imperial Woodland St. Mary under the boots of The Free Peoples Of Aldbourne, as well beating Luckett on tour for the first time in 3 years.
He has already complained to the ECB that the club should actually be given a bye to the final of the Munim Tournament in honour of his arrival.
The new-look squad, featuring Un opening both the batting and bowling and 10 members of the Supreme People’s Assembly of Aldbourne, will play Shalbourne on Sunday with Un promising to score a minimum of 5000 runs and taking all 10 wickets.
A wag from the Blue Boar, proud sponsors of the plucky little known Wiltshire club, told your reporter for Dabchick 24 and the Daily Mash that “He just wants people to ignore all the stuff you read in the press about him and let his cricket do the talking.
“Or die.”
Keep it real, Aldbourne.

Our Sponsors

The Blue Boar

Crosby & Lawrence

Net72 Intelligent Websites